A Mad, Wonderful World
by Ranguvar27
Summary: After Margaret discovers Lowell cheating on her, she falls down the Rabbit Hole and ends up in the strange world of Underland. Can the mad citizens help her forget her slurvish husband?  Tarrant/Alice, Stayne/Alannah, possible Margaret/OC.
1. Chapter 1 Confrontation and Consequence

A Mad, Wonderful World

Chapter One Confrontation and Consequence

Margaret Manchester sighed as she finished packing the small lunch pail, sure that she had remembered to pack everything. She knew how particular Lowell could be about his lunch, and she dreaded the consequences if she did not have everything packed neatly and perfectly. Once, she had forgotten that Lowell preferred apples cut in thin slices. He hadn't hit her-he never hit her. Instead, he would talk in a condescending tone, as if she was a severely mentally impaired child. She would listen, not daring to talk back, and answer every lecture in the same manner-"Yes, Lowell. I will try harder next time."

She tied a shawl around her to ward off the London chill, and then went out to flag down a cab. When one stopped, she gave the cabby directions to Lowell's office. She sat back in the seat as the cab took off through the busy London streets, and found her mind going back to that week three years ago when her sister had come for a visit, bringing her two mad friends with her. Margaret had been slightly uneasy around Tarrant, since she had never seen anyone as odd as him. But he had been a perfect gentleman to her, and it was quite plain that he and Alice were devoted to each other.

It had been the young lady that Margaret had been most intrigued by. She had never known that a woman could be so direct. Alannah seemed absolutely unconcerned with the Rules of Society and propriety. She had deflated Lowell's ego quite nicely at the party, Margaret remembered-and she had done it quite bluntly. Margaret had also overheard the conversation between Lowell, Tarrant, and Alannah. She had wanted to hug the woman for having the courage and…yes, she had thought…impudence to say what Margaret had wanted to say for years.

The cab came to a halt, and Margaret climbed out, thanked the driver, and entered the building. Lowell's office was on the fifth floor, she knew. She started up the steps, and even before she reached his office she felt a sense of dread and unease enveloping her. Lowell's office was dark. She approached the door on trembling legs, and knocked. "Lowell?" her voice trembled and she knocked again. "Lowell? It's me."

No answer and Margaret grasped the doorknob, and then entered the office. Her eyes adjusted to the gloom-and she realized why the lights had been turned down.

Lowell was on the couch-along with a woman Margaret didn't know. They were both naked, and the woman's breasts bobbed up and down as Lowell thrust in and out of her.

Margaret screamed. She screamed in rage, in guilt, and shame. The lovers froze, and Lowell turned towards the sound, and his eyes widened in terror. "Shit."

Margaret turned and ran out of the office, not bothering to turn around, and climbed into the waiting cab, tears pouring down her face. She realized she was still holding the lunch pail, and she opened the window and threw the pail out into the street.

"Driver, please take me to the Ascot Estate."

Lowell came out of his office building just in time to see a cab disappear around the corner. He cursed. Damn Margaret! He hadn't expected her until 3 30. Now everything was going to be ruined because she had to try to surprise him.

Margaret climbed out of the cab and made her way to the large garden at the Ascot Estate, then ran through the maze to the Hole Alice had written to her about. She stared down it, and gulped. Was she really about to jump down into a hole? She bit her lip, and then stood, ready to go back home and try and forget the humiliation she had suffered when the ground gave way underneath her. She wind milled her arms, trying to maintain her balance, but it did no good, and she gave a short cry as she fell backwards into the Rabbit Hole.

She plummeted down the hole, screaming in terror. In all her letters, Alice had failed to mention how horrifying the fall was. A piano came towards her, and she shrieked as it plunged past her only inches from her face. Roots scratched her, drawing blood-and then she landed hard on a bed. She screamed again as she was catapulted off, and went plunging down yet another hole to land with a bone jarring thud on a checkered floor. She was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she realized she was actually on a ceiling. With a jolt, gravity reversed itself.

Margaret hit the floor, and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2 Fell Down A Hole

A Mad Wonderful World

Chapter Two Fell Down a Hole

Stayne sighed in trepidation, his eye on the rapidly darkening sky. His Patrol was currently near the Overland Entrance, and he had hoped that the storm would pass over the Crimson Sea. But now it looked like it was heading straight for them. He bit his lip. The swiftness and unpredictability of Underland storms was nefarious. He groaned, and then reached a decision. "Patrol! Into the Hall!"

He slid off Grey Star and led him towards the Entrance. His men followed. As soon as the last soldier entered the Hall, the skies opened up. Stayne thanked Time that they were all nice and dry. He smiled ruefully. "Looks like we're going to be stuck here for a bit. Anyone got a deck of cards?"

"Sir! Come over here!" Stayne looked over at Corporal Blanchard.

"What is it, Corporal?"

The Corporal bit his lip. "It's a woman, Sir. She looks like an Overlander. She's unconscious, and I think she's been hurt."

Stayne frowned, and walked over to where Blanchard stood. His eye widened. "That's Margaret Manchester!" At Blanchard's blank look, he sighed. "Alice's sister. Alice has described her enough to everyone. I wonder what she's doing here."

He knelt next to Margaret, gently tracing the cuts on her arms. "Looks like she plunged down the Hole. Once the storm passes, we'll take her back to Marmoreal and let Alannah work her magic."

Blanchard frowned. "How are we going to get her into Underland?"

Stayne bit his lip, and then shook his head. "I'm not sure. On the one hand, I don't want to risk giving her the Pishalver while she's unconscious. I might give her too much. On the other hand, the only way to get an Overlander into Underland is through the Door, and she has to be shrunk for that." He frowned in thought. "Corporal, how tall would you say she was?"

Blanchard frowned. "Five feet five inches, Sir. Why?"

Stayne sighed. "Because we're going to have to shrink her then give her the Upelkuchen-and I doubt she would be pleased to find herself suddenly taller."

Blanchard nodded, and then looked at Margaret-and his eyes widened in shock. "Sir, I think she's coming round."

Margaret opened her eyes, staring up at the strange figures that surrounded her. She focused on the rather large man that stood above her, and a scream escaped her lips. She got to her feet, and a lancing pain shot through her head. She could do nothing but sob. "Please…don't hurt me!"

Stayne smiled gently. "I can assure you that I mean you no harm. My name is Ilosivic Stayne, Captain of the White Army. I am good friends with your sister, Alice."

Margaret blinked, and then winced. "I...hurt so much."

Stayne smiled in sympathy. "You had quite the plunge down the Hole. But there's no need to worry. My wife is the Healer of the White Court. She'll be able to cure you. We just need to get you into Underland first."

She looked around in confusion. "This isn't Underland?"

Stayne chuckled. "No, this is the Hall of Doors. It's the other end of the entrance from Overland. My men and I can come and go as we please, since we're all natives-but you can't-unless you drink this."

He handed her the bottle of Pishalver. She took it, and uncorked it. "God, that smells awful."

Stayne grinned. "It tastes even worse. But if you don't drink it, you won't fit through the Door. So close your eyes and take a sip."

Margaret braced herself, then drank, sputtering at the awful taste, then cried out in shock as she began to shrink. "What's happening?" she cried out in alarm. Stayne smiled reassuringly at her. "It's not permanent. Corporal, would you be so good as to hand her the Key and a bit of Upelkuchen?"

Blanchard obeyed, and Stayne looked at Margaret. "The Door is behind that red curtain. Once you're out, eat that cake. It should make you grow to your right height, and then we'll take you to Marmoreal."

She gazed at him, skeptical, and he grinned. "The cake tastes much better, I assure you."

She walked over to the curtain, unlocked the door, walking through. Stayne and his men followed after, and Stayne smiled as he noticed Margaret petting Grey Star, babbling in baby talk. He walked up to them.

"What is it about a horse that causes women to babble mindlessly at them? Alannah is the same way. His name is Grey Star, by the way."

Margaret scratched Grey Star's star. "He looks like a very intelligent mount." She suddenly gasped as she felt the world spin around her, and she fell back unconscious. Stayne caught her before she could hit the ground, and then carefully lifted her onto Grey Star, climbing up behind her and locking his arms around her. "Apologies for my boldness, Madam, but I don't want you falling off." He flicked Grey Star's reins, and he took off at a quick pace for Marmoreal.

When he arrived, he carefully lifted Margaret off Grey Star and carried her inside. He turned as he heard a cry of shock.

"Meggie!"

Alice came running towards him. "Meggie! Is she alright? What's she doing here?"

Stayne smiled gently. "She's had a rather nasty fall down the Hole. Where's Alannah?"

Alice gulped. "In the kitchens, helping Thackery with dinner. I'll go get her."

Margaret slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the pains that seemed to shoot through her entire body. She was lying on a large, soft bed in a strange room. She began to sit up in alarm, only to be pushed back by a gentle but firm hand. A voice spoke soothingly.

"Don't try to move just yet. You had quite the fall down the Hole. I cleaned your cuts, and you've been given a healing draught. Now all there is to do is rest."

Margaret looked around. "Where…where am I?"

Her benefactor smiled. "In the castle of Queen Mirana of Underland. My husband's patrol found you a few hours ago and brought you here."

Margaret smiled. "Would your husband be Ilosivic Stayne?"

"That's him."

Margaret shivered, and a blanket was pulled up to her chin. She sighed. "Thank him for helping me."

Alannah smiled, knowing Margaret couldn't see her. "I shall. Now, get some sleep. You need to recover your strength."

Margaret snuggled into the blankets and fell asleep. Alannah left the room, and was immediately confronted by a very worried Alice.

"How is she, Alannah? How is my sister?"

Alannah placed her hand on Alice's shoulder. "She's going to be fine. She had a few scrapes and cuts, but nothing too severe. I think she was more shaken up by the actual fall itself. But give her a few hours to recover, and then you can go in and see her."

Alice sighed in relief. "Thank you, my friend. Are you sure she…"

Alannah laughed. "Yes, Alice. I'm sure. She will make a full recovery. Then you can ask her why she's here."

Alice smiled, and then turned to Stayne, who stood nearby. "Ilosivic, I cannot thank you enough for finding her and bringing her to safety."

Stayne smiled. "You are welcome, Alice."

Alice looked towards the closed door, and hoped Margaret would recover soon. She had a lot of questions for her.


	3. Chapter 3 Sisters Reunited

A Mad, Wonderful World

Chapter Three Sisters Reunited

When Margaret opened her eyes, she was surprised and pleased to find that the aches and pains that had lanced through her body had completely vanished. She lifted her arm, and gasped as she noticed that she could not see any trace of the cuts she had received from her fall. She gaped in amazement, and then looked as the door opened. A woman in her late 30s walked in the room, and smiled gently at her.

"I'm glad to see you awake, Margaret. How are you feeling?"

Margaret blinked. "I…do I know you?"

Alannah laughed. "Lady Alannah Stayne. We met briefly a few years ago when I came to Overland with your sister and Tarrant Hightopp. Incidentally, Alice has been pestering me for hours about seeing you. She's right outside."

Margaret's eyes widened in recognition. "Of course! I remember you now, Lady Stayne. You gave my husband quite the tongue lashing, if I recall. I found it very amusing."

Alannah laughed. "So did I." She walked over to the bed and sat next to her, placing her hand on her forehead. "You're a bit warm, but that could just be due to the fall. And I insist that you call me Alannah."

Margaret smiled. "Very well, Alannah. You said my sister was here?" Alannah nodded. "Well, I want to see her."

The door opened, and Alice came running in. "Meggie! I can't believe you're here! What happened? Why are you here?"

Margaret smiled at the nickname. "You haven't called me Meggie since we were little. I've missed you, Alice."

Alice ran up to the bed and sat next to her, gazing into her eyes. Margaret smiled, realizing that Alice had the same hazel eyes as their father. Margaret's eyes were blue, like their mother's. Alice kissed her on the cheek, and Margaret felt a warmth rush through her. Oh, she had missed her little sister! They clung to each other for a few moments, and then Alice asked the question that had been on her mind.

"Meggie, what are you doing in Underland?"

Margaret's cheeks bloomed with shame and anger. "Alice, I should have listened to your warnings about Lowell. I should have kept a more firm eye on him. But now…" she put her hand to her mouth, and let out a brief sob. Alice hugged her, and spoke soothingly.

"Don't cry, Meggie. Tell me what happened."

Margaret wiped her eyes, and then looked at Alannah in slight worry. Alice read her meaning, and smiled. "Alannah will never reveal anything. You can trust her, Meggie."

Margaret nodded, trusting her sister's judgment. "I caught him cheating on me with a…floozy! I made him a nice lunch, and took it to his office…yesterday…I think. I caught them shagging on the office couch!" she yelled, and then covered her mouth in shock. She very rarely swore.

Alice felt her blood boil. "Oh, Meggie. I am so sorry. That slurvish bastard!"

Margaret looked at her, confused. "Slurvish?"

Alannah laughed. "Alice, one would think you were native, you speak Outlandish so much." She looked at Margaret. "Slurvish means self centered."

Alice chuckled. "It's my husband's influence. He speaks it almost all the time. He wants Arianna and Josiah to be fluent in it-and they're almost there."

Margaret blinked in shock. "Husband? Alice, you're married?"

Alice blushed. "Yes, to Tarrant Hightopp. Arianna and Josiah are our twin children. I've never been happier, Meggie. Tarrant is such a wonderful father."

Margaret furrowed her brow in thought. "Tarrant Hightopp? Alice, was he the man that came with you when you visited?" At Alice's eager nod, Margaret chuckled ruefully. "I might have known that someone as mad as you would marry someone as mad as him. But as your big sister, there is one thing I must know. Are you truly happy?"

Alice smiled softly. "I am. Tarrant does have a few flaws, and he can be quite mad sometimes, but I know how to bring him back to reality. He would never do anything to hurt me or the twins."

Margaret grinned. "Then that endorsement is good enough for me. As soon as I recover my strength, and Alannah says I'm able to get out of this bed, I insist on meeting your family. Alannah, I also want to thank your husband for the kindness he showed me in getting me here."

Alannah nodded. "I'm sure he would appreciate that. If you like I could give you a draught that will allow you to get out of bed right now."

Margaret smiled at Alice, and then shook her head. "If you don't mind, I'd like to spend some time alone with my sister first."

Alannah grinned. "Of course. You probably have a lot of catching up to do. It was nice to see you again, Margaret."

She walked out of the room, and straight into Tarrant. He looked anxiously at her, and craned his neck to see into the room. Alannah placed her hand on his shoulder. "You're going to have to wait a bit, Tarrant. They're having sister talk."

Tarrant pouted. "What's Alice's sister doing here, anyway?"

"She fell down the Rabbit Hole. How else do Overlanders get here? The Looking Glass was smashed years ago, so the Hole is the only entrance left."

Tarrant rolled his eyes. "I know how she got here, Alannah! What I meant was why is she here?"

Alannah gazed at him seriously. "She is here for her own reason. If she wants to tell you, she will. But don't try and wheedle it out of her." Tarrant's eyes flashed light blue with unease. Alannah's gaze softened. "She has no intention of trying to make Alice go back to Overland. In fact, she wants to meet you and the twins. So set your mad mind at ease, Tarrant. You're not going to lose your wife."

Tarrant breathed a huge sigh of relief, and Alannah chuckled. He walked over to a window seat and sat down, gazing intently at the closed door. Alannah laughed, and then sat next to him, nudging his arm playfully. "Try not to kill Time again." He shook his head, and then continued to stare at the door.

"I won't, I promise. I'm just waiting. Time will understand that." He sighed. "What if she doesn't like me? What if she tells me that I'm completely wrong for Alice? What do I do?"

Alannah smiled gently at him. "Tarrant, you do not have anything to be worried about. Just be your usual mad, charming self and you'll be fine. As for you being wrong for Alice, I don't think I've ever known two people who were more right for each other."

He looked at her, a mischievous grin on his face. "What about you and Ilosivic?"

She laughed. "Well, that goes without saying."

Tarrant relaxed, then continued to stare at the door.


	4. Chapter 4 Another Mad Tea Party

A Mad, Wonderful World

Chapter Four-Another Mad Tea Party

Margaret had finally made a full recovery. She insisted on getting out of bed the morning after her rather dramatic arrival, and Alannah consented, and then chuckled. Margaret looked at her, slightly confused. "What are you laughing about?"

Alannah grinned. "I'm just imagining Tarrant's face when you meet him. He's been a nervous wreck ever since you arrived. He thought at first you had come to try and bring Alice back to Overland with you."

Margaret shook her head. "No, I would never try to do that. In fact, I might not go back myself." She laughed bitterly. "I have nothing left to go back for, anyway. My husband is a thorough cad, and I'm sure that if I did go back and told him where I had been he would have me placed in Bedlam."

Alannah frowned in confusion. "Bedlam?"

Margaret nodded. "Yes, it's an insane asylum in London. It's quite well known." She looked at Alannah. "Has Alice ever told you about our Aunt Imogene?" Alannah looked thoughtful.

"She's the one said that she was engaged to a prince, right?"

Margaret nodded. "That's her. Alice advised her to seek help, and she refused. She kept insisting that her prince would come and take her away from everything. Finally, Mother stepped in. She had Aunt Imogene committed to Bedlam. As far as I know, she's still there."

Alannah gasped. "That's horrible! Locking people up just because they see things differently than others. I'm glad we've no asylums in Underland. Then again, everyone here is mad. So perhaps the whole place is an asylum." She grinned, and then changed the subject. "Tarrant and Alice are most likely at the Windmill preparing for the Mad Tea Party. Ilosivic and I are going to be there, as well as Thackery, Chessur, and Mirana. Tea time is six o' clock. Casual dress."

Margaret blushed. "My dress was rather ruined by my fall. I don't suppose you know where I can get another?"

Alannah smiled, and walked over to the wardrobe that stood against the far wall. She opened the doors with a flourish, and grinned at Margaret. "There. An entire selection. I'm certain you'll be able to find a suitable dress."

Margaret's eyes lit up. "Thank you."

"You are quite welcome. I'll let you alone so you can find something."

She left, and Margaret ran over to the wardrobe. She began examining the dresses, noting with some embarrassment that they did not require a corset. She finally decided on a deep green dress. After she had cleaned herself up, she decided to give herself a tour of the castle. She opened the door to her room, peeked up and down the corridor, and decided to go left.

She walked down the corridor, admiring the paintings and tapestries that adorned the walls, and noticed a young man heading in her direction. He was handsome, with grey-green eyes and dark brown hair. He had a bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand, and he appeared to be very nervous. He approached her, and bowed slightly.

"Ma'am, I wanted to give you these as a welcome gift. I do hope you will accept them." He handed her the flowers, and Margaret took them, a slight blush on her face. She hadn't been given flowers in a very long time, and she appreciated the kind gesture.

"Thank you so much…" she looked at him, and he smiled.

"Corporal Thomas Blanchard, Ma'am."

Margaret extended her hand. "Margaret…Kingsley."

Blanchard took her hand, kissing it gently, and Margaret felt herself blush. "I am honored to meet you, Miss Kingsley. I wonder if perhaps I could show you around Marmoreal?"

Margaret grinned, then looped her arm in his, smiling. "I would be delighted, Corporal."

He beamed, and then escorted her down the corridor.

Alannah ducked, and a tea cup went flying over her head to crash against a tree. She and Stayne were at the Windmill, helping Alice and Tarrant set up for the Tea Party. Their children were inside, playing happily with Badger. Alannah straightened, and gave Thackery a piercing glare. "Thackery, try not to break all the cups, please."

Thackery frowned. "Aye. But I just like throwin' 'em. They make sich a lovely sound when they hit the trees." He threw another one, and this time it was Stayne who was forced to duck. Thackery laughed madly as the cup crashed into the Windmill. Stayne sighed and gazed pleadingly at Tarrant.

"Can't you curb the Mad March Hare for a bit?" he asked in slight exasperation, and Tarrant sighed.

"I'll try. Thackery! Behave yourself at this party or I'll hide all your spoons." Thackery went pale, and Tarrant grinned. "So do you promise to behave yourself?"

Thackery nodded quickly, and Tarrant laughed. "Good. Come help me carry out the tea trays. Chessur, if you could be so good as to become solid, you can carry out the scones."

Stayne, Alice, and Alannah tried not to laugh as a very indignant Cheshire Cat appeared on a tree branch. "Carry scones? Really, that seems so boring. Couldn't I just be a supervisor? That seems so much more interesting."

Tarrant glared at him, eyes orange. "Ye can either carry the scones on yer own or I can tape them to yer 'ead. Make up yer mind, Cat."

"Given the choice, I suppose I could carry them," Chessur drawled. He floated inside, grabbed the tray of scones, and then carried them over to the table. He set them down and looked down his nose at Tarrant. "Is there anything else you would like me to do, Hatter?"

Tarrant nodded. "Go find Alice's sister and escort her here."

Chessur vanished, and Tarrant stepped back and observed his Tea Tables. They looked as they had during Alice's first visit. He grinned, and then looked at Alice, who had come to stand next to him. "Do you think your sister will like this?"

She nodded. "She will. It looks lovely, Tarrant, and it brings back such lovely memories for me as well."

Margaret smiled softly to herself as she walked through a garden-one of many, she had been told. Corporal Blanchard had shown her all around Marmoreal, answering all her questions about life in Underland, and listening with interest as she told him about her life in London. He had also been a perfect gentleman, something that she found rather endearing. Lowell had never been much of a gentleman. Oh, he could put on the act, and he was quite charming when he did, but it was all skin deep. The Corporal was different, she thought. He was a truly gallant man, and she found herself enjoying his company very much. Before he returned to his duties, he had asked her to spend a day with him, and she had agreed. "I feel like I'm being courted all over again," she laughed to herself.

"Being courted is great fun."

Margaret gaped in shock at the…cat head that hovered above a flower bed. The cat grinned, revealing sharp white teeth, and Margaret gulped in fear and timidly addressed it.

"Hello, Puss."

Chessur smiled softly. "That's what Alice called me when we first met. Cheshire Puss."

Margaret's eyes widened in recognition. "Are you the Cheshire Cat?" At his nod, she laughed. "Alice told me about you. She said you were quite the interesting animal. Is it true that you're mad?"

Chessur grinned. "We're all mad here, and your sister is as mad as all of us. Now, if you would please follow me, I will take you to the Windmill and the Tea Party. How good are you at ducking?"

Margaret blinked at the strange question. "I…suppose I'm decent at it. Why do you ask?"

Chessur smiled enigmatically. "You'll see. Follow me, please."

Margaret followed her mind racing in confusion. Why had she been asked if she was good at ducking? She kept her eyes on the strange cat that floated in front of her. A few times she opened her mouth to ask a question, but then fell silent, unsure of what she wanted to say. Finally, they reached the end of the path, and Margaret found herself staring at a strange sight.

There was a large clearing in front of her. Spread out in the clearing were three tables spread with fine linen tablecloths and burdened down with tea pots, tea cups, and more sandwiches, scones and tarts than Margaret had ever seen in her life. She was surprised that the tables hadn't collapsed from the weight of all the food. Directly behind the tables was a large windmill, its sails neatly patched.

She turned her attention from the landscape to focus on the occupants of the tables. She recognized the one-eyed man as being the Captain that had been so helpful in getting her into Underland. He was whispering to the woman sitting on his right, and she giggled before lightly smacking his arm. Margaret smiled sadly. Lowell had never shown her any sort of affection.

"Meggie!" Alice came out of the Windmill and gave a cry of delight at seeing her. She was carrying a little girl of about three, with electric orange hair. Margaret's eyes widened in shock. She had never seen such orange hair, and yet on the girl it looked surprisingly cute. She was dressed in a pale lavender dress and had a bright green ribbon tied in her unruly curls. The effect should have been jarring, but somehow it worked.

Alice walked up to her. "Meggie, I'm so glad you could make it. I'd like for you to meet Arianna. Arianna, say hello to your Aunt Meggie."

Arianna looked at Margaret, and then spoke quietly. "'Lo."

Margaret beamed. "Hello, Arianna. You are such a pretty little girl. How old are you?"

"Free."

Margaret's eyes widened in surprise. "Three? My, you're a big girl, aren't you? Do you think I could get a hug?" Arianna looked over at her Momma, and Alice smiled.

"It's alright. She's a very nice lady. Go on, sweetie." Arianna stretched out her arms, and Margaret took her, beaming.

"Alice, she is a darling. I see she inherited her father's hair and your eyes. But didn't you tell me that you had twins?"

Alice nodded. "I did. In fact, here comes Tarrant with Josiah now." She smiled at her husband as he approached, Josiah in his arms. He was dressed in his purple suit, and Alice laughed when she realized Josiah was wearing the same thing. "You both look good in purple, love."

Tarrant grinned. "Well, of course." He bowed slightly to Margaret. "Mrs. Manchester, I am very glad to see you again."

Margaret smiled. "Please, call me Meggie. I do not wish to be known as Mrs. Manchester. In fact, I would much prefer being Margaret Kingsley once more."

Tarrant beamed. "As you wish, Meggie. Now, would you like to meet your nephew?" Margaret nodded, and he grinned. "Josiah, say hello to your Aunt Meggie." He chuckled as Josiah buried his face in his shoulder. "He's a bit shy, but give him time and he'll warm up to you. I see you've already met Arianna."

Margaret looked over at Arianna and grinned. "Yes. We're getting along splendidly."

"Excellent. Now, the tea is brewing, the scones and tarts are nice and hot, and we're ready for the party to begin. Might I be allowed to escort you to the table?" Tarrant asked her. Margaret blushed.

"Of course. I would be honored."

Tarrant looped his arm around hers and escorted her to the table. "You may sit where you like. Mirana should be along shortly."

Margaret chose a seat, and gaped in wonder at all the food. "I have never seen so much food in my life!" She turned to the woman seated next to her, and grinned. "Lady Alannah! I'm so very glad to see you again!"

Alannah laughed. "I am happy to see you recovered so quickly, Margaret. Or may I also call you Meggie?"

Margaret smiled. "I insist on it. You were so kind to me." She looked over at Stayne. "Captain, I wanted to thank you for the kindness you showed to me in the Hall of Doors."

Stayne smiled. "There's no need, Ma'am. It was the least I could do."

Margaret nodded, and then took a breath. "Captain, I hope you are not offended, but I find you a most imposing man. If I may ask, how did you lose your eye?"

Stayne laughed. "I am not offended at all. I lost my eye to a creature known as the JubJub bird. It happened when I was young."

As Margaret listened to Stayne tell the story of how he lost his eye, she couldn't help but notice that he kept stroking Alannah's hand with his thumb. He seemed unaware he was doing it, almost as if it were a natural reflex, and Margaret felt a slight twinge of sadness. She glanced over to Alice and Tarrant, and saw that they too had their hands linked. Margaret sighed, wishing that she could have been so lucky in her marriage.

"Am I late for the Tea Party?"

Margaret turned at the voice, and her jaw dropped. A woman dressed in the most beautiful white gown she had ever seen was gliding into the clearing. She was pale, with pure white hair and dark brown lips and eyebrows. Tarrant beamed.

"Not at all, Mirana. You are right on time. Margaret Kingsley, might I introduce Queen Mirana of Marmoreal? Mirana, this is Alice's sister, Margaret Kingsley."

Margaret nearly leapt out of her seat. She curtseyed deeply. "Majesty, I am honored to meet you."

Mirana smiled softly, and pulled Margaret to her feet. "There is no need for such formality. You are Alice's sister, and that makes you family. I insist on being called Mirana."

Margaret smiled. "Of course."

Later that night as Margaret lay in her bed, she thought back to the wonderful time she had at the Tea Party. It had been so unlike the staid and boring parties she had attended in London, when she had been forced to listen to dull conversation about fashion and politics, two subjects she honestly could have cared less about. At this party, the conversation had flowed, jumping from subject to subject. It had taken her a bit to get used to it, but she wasn't Alice's sister for nothing, and she soon became comfortable, adding her thoughts whenever she could.

She snuggled deeper into the soft bed, sure that she was going to enjoy her time here. 'In fact', she thought mischievously, 'I might never go back home.'

_**Author's Note-Bedlam is the common name for Bethlem Royal Hospital in London. It was built in 1247 as a Priory, and became a hospital in 1337. The word 'bedlam', meaning uproar and confusion, derives from it. For a long time, it was notorious for the inhumane treatment of the mentally ill. However, today it is at the forefront of humane treatment. (More info can be found on Wikipedia.)**_


	5. Chapter 5 Courtship and Deception

_**Ahem! Disclaimer Thingamabob-I do not own any recognized characters. They belong to Carroll and Burton. I doubt they care if I use them, though.**_

A Mad Wonderful World

Chapter Five Courtship and Deception

Stayne chuckled quietly as he observed Corporal Blanchard. He was standing in front of a mirror in the Barracks, methodically brushing his uniform. He had washed and combed his hair, and cleaned the dirt from the roads off his face. Stayne couldn't help but notice the bouquet of flowers that lay on the nearby table. He decided to make his presence known, and gently cleared his throat. Blanchard jumped, then relaxed. Stayne smirked.

"You seem a bit jumpy, Corporal. Planning on meeting someone, are you?"

Blanchard blushed. "I was going to take Miss Kingsley on a picnic, Sir. Do you think she would like that?"

Stayne grinned. "I think she would find it most enjoyable. But Corporal, a word of warning. She is an Overlander, and their courtship rituals are a bit different than ours. Miss Margaret may not be as…open…as some of the other ladies you've known. So don't you try to seduce her."

Blanchard gaped at him in shock. "I would never! I can assure you, Captain, when it comes to her my intentions are nothing but honorable. Why, I will not even hold her hand unless I am given her permission. She is far too much of a Lady."

Stayne clapped him on the shoulder. "Then all I can say is have fun on your picnic."

Blanchard grinned widely. "Yes Sir, I will Sir. Thank you Sir." He hurriedly left the barracks, heading for the palace. He smiled as he saw Margaret standing on the steps. "Miss Kingsley, I am once more delighted by your presence." He kissed her hand, and Margaret smiled.

"Thank you, but I insist on being called Margaret. Miss Kingsley is far too formal. I am curious to know what you have planned for today."

Blanchard smiled. "I was hoping that we might go on a picnic. Thackery has a basket ready for us, and I know some wonderful spots in the gardens. Would that be agreeable to you, Margaret?"

Margaret blushed. "That would be most agreeable…Thomas." Blanchard grinned, and then went inside to get the basket from Thackery. He returned, and offered Margaret his arm. "My Lady, if I might be allowed to escort you to a lovely picnicking spot?"

She giggled, and looped her arm in his. "I would be most delighted, Corporal."

He beamed, and led her down the path to a large clearing surrounded by rose bushes. Margaret gave a gasp of delight, bent down to sniff a large red one, and pulled back in shock when she heard an angry exclamation. She gawped at the rose, and it sniffed haughtily.

"Well, really! Such impertinence! Smelling me without so much as a by-your-leave! It's appalling, that's what it is. Simply appalling!"

Margaret stammered, unable to speak. The rose glared at her. "Well, aren't you going to apologize for your extremely rude behavior?"

"I…I…" she stammered, shocked, and the rose huffed.

"I can see that you have no sense of manners or propriety. But really, you have a very common, ill mannered look about you, so I cannot really say that I am surprised."

Margaret took a deep breath, stung at the insult. Blanchard, who had been spreading the blanket, looked over at the bed and spoke sharply to the rose.

"You watch your tongue, flower, or I'll pick you! Miss Margaret is a Lady, and while she is here I expect you to treat her with respect. Is that clear?"

The rose blanched in anger. "How…dare…you call me flower! I am not a mere common flower! I am a talking rose! One of the last left and I will be treated with respect!"

Blanchard rolled his eyes. "Lady Stayne was right about you talking flowers. You're all too bloody conceited for your own good. Now, be a good flower and do shut up before you end up on the rubbish heap." He smiled at Margaret. "There are not too many talking flowers left, and the ones that are live mostly in this garden. They're quite conceited, and nobody pays much attention to them anymore. So do not be offended by anything that you hear from them."

Margaret nodded. "I shan't. But I must say, it is still a bit of a shock. The flowers at home never talked. At least, I'm quite sure they didn't."

Blanchard smiled. "There's a reason for that. Put your hand on the ground."

Margaret did so. "It's very hard."

"Right. You see, in Overland, all the flower beds are very soft, so the flowers are asleep all the time. Here, they're kept awake by the hardness of the soil."

Margaret smiled in understanding. "I see." She straightened up, and walked over to Blanchard. "Now, you said something about a picnic?"

Blanchard beamed and escorted her to the blanket. "I did, My Lady. I do hope you find Underland food to your liking."

"I'm certain I will find it most enjoyable." Margaret told him, blushing.

Alannah was walking through the gardens, gathering herbs when she heard the unmistakable sound of laughter. She crept closer to the sound, and grinned when she noticed Margaret and Blanchard engaged in an animated conversation. 'Good for you, Meggie,' she thought fondly. She had never quite forgotten the appalling way Lowell Manchester had treated her. 'He does not deserve someone as wonderful as you.'

Blanchard leaned in, kissing Margaret gently on the cheek, and Alannah grinned wider at the blush that came over her face. She continued down the path, humming softly to herself. 'Good for you, Meggie', she thought again.

She sat under a tree to take inventory, and grinned as she heard Margaret laugh. She had a wonderful laugh, very clear, and Alannah wondered if she had ever laughed around Lowell. She doubted it-Lowell had seemed to her a singularly dour fellow, unable to see amusement in anything. She shut her eyes, relaxing, and smiled when she felt someone sit next to her. "Hello, Ilosivic." She opened her eyes briefly, and gazed over at him. "If you've come to make sure Blanchard is behaving, you needn't bother. He is being a perfect gentleman."

Stayne laughed. "No, I already told him to behave. Besides, if Margaret is anything like her sister, she's more than capable of warding off unwelcome advances. So I'm not too worried. I actually came looking for you."

Alannah smirked. "I'm flattered, but Margaret and Blanchard are only a few feet away, and you seem to love making me scream. Of course, we could try to be totally silent…."

Stayne chuckled, and then kissed her. "Believe it or not, I actually didn't come for that. I have another reason. Alice, Tarrant and I were talking, and Alice is afraid that Lowell might come looking for Margaret and try and bring her back to Overland, and perhaps even put her in…Bedlam, was it?" Alannah nodded. "So we decided to try and come up with a way to assure that he would never come looking for her." At Alannah's pointed look, he hastily continued. "Nothing fatal! We were thinking of writing a letter and having her sign it. Do you think she'd agree to a bit of deception?"

"What sort of deception?"

Stayne looked over at Margaret, who had walked over arm in arm with Blanchard. She smiled guiltily. "We could not help but overhear you. What sort of deception did you have in mind?"

Stayne and Alannah grinned wickedly, and Stayne explained the scheme to Margaret. She agreed whole-heartedly, and promised to meet them, along with Alice and Tarrant, at their cottage. Alannah gave her directions, and they parted ways. After Margaret and Blanchard left, Alannah delighted Stayne by climbing into his lap and kissing him rather passionately. "We don't have to be silent anymore."

Stayne growled and pushed her onto the grass.

Margaret knocked on the door of the Staynes' cottage. "Come in!" a voice called, and she opened the door and stepped into the loveliest little house she had ever seen. The furniture was mismatched, but cleaned and polished to a high sheen. A large couch sat against the far left wall, and a mahogany dining table stood in the middle of the room. Seated at the table were Alannah, Stayne, Alice, and Tarrant. Alice smiled at her.

"Hello, Meggie. Did you have a good time with Blanchard today?" At Margaret's surprised blush, she laughed. "There's not much chance at keeping secrets in Underland. We're all delighted for you."

Margaret smiled softly and came over to sit next to Alice. "Where are the children? I was looking forward to finishing my fascinating talk with Katarina about Overland desert." She had met Katarina at the Tea Party, and the young girl had latched onto her, chattering away, asking question after question. Margaret had thoroughly enjoyed talking to her, and had been equally as delighted in Michael. He wasn't quite as garrulous as his sister, but he had a smile that could light up even the darkest room. Margaret had observed that he was going to be quite the catch when he grew older.

Alannah smiled. "Chessur and Mally are keeping an eye on the little ones, with Katarina's help of course. They're at Alice and Tarrant's house. We thought it best they not be here, since this is grownup talk. Tarrant, sit down."

Alice and Margaret burst into laughter as Tarrant flopped back into his seat with a pout. "I am not a grown up, Alannah." He huffed. Alannah rolled her eyes.

"I know, but you will just have to endure for a bit. Then I promise you may go back to being the Mad Hatter."

Tarrant frowned. "Verra well. Get on wif it."

Alannah smirked, answering in her brogue. "I shall, 'Atter. But per'aps first ye could explain tae Meggie why we're talkin' like this. She's a bit surprised."

Tarrant smiled, and then looked at Margaret, who was indeed staring at him in surprise. "Alannah and I are both fluent in a language known as Outlandish. It causes our accents to change. My Outlandish accent is the equivalent of Scottish in Overland, while hers would be considered-Irish, I believe."

Margaret nodded. "Yes. In fact, were she not an Underlander, I would swear she was Irish. They tend to have red hair and very fiery tempers."

Stayne chuckled. "That's my Alannah." He winced as Alannah smacked his arm. "See. Fiery temper."

Alannah glared at him. "Perhaps we could move on to the reason why we are all here?" Everyone nodded, and she smiled. "Good. Now, as you all know, Margaret Manchester, or as she prefers, Margaret Kingsley, arrived here two days ago, and seems to be fitting in rather nicely. However, there is a snag. She left her slurvish husband up in Overland, and it may only be a matter of time before he comes looking for her. Meggie, would he know where to look for you?"

Margaret gulped. "Yes. I told him once when I was angry with him that the next time he deceived me I was going to jump down the Hole and be with Alice. He dismissed it as temper, but I am very certain he knows where the Rabbit Hole is."

Alice frowned. "But why would he come looking for you? Surely he'll be glad to know you are gone. He'd be able to carry on as he pleased, without having to worry about you ever finding out."

Margaret laughed scornfully. "Oh, he would never do that. You see, there is something I have that he would be most loath to part with. Money." At Alice's shocked look, she grinned savagely. "You probably did not know that I am the wealthy one in the marriage. I invested the inheritance I got from Father, and I am very careful in my expenditures. I had some help from Lord Ascot after you left, and he showed me how to best manage my affairs. Lowell, on the other hand, is almost completely broke from managing his…affairs." She smiled sadly. "So you see, he cannot afford to lose a source of income. Even the money he earns at the office is spent foolishly."

Stayne shook his head in disgust. "He sounds like a real slurking urpal…"

"Ilosivic! Language!" Alannah scolded him, and he looked contrite. She grinned savagely. "But you're right, he certainly is."

Margaret blinked in confusion. "What does…what does that mean?"

Alannah shook her head. "It's a very foul Underland curse. In full, it's slurking urpal slackush scrum. But moving on past Underland curses, Meggie-we've put together a letter for you to send to Lowell. See if you approve."

She pulled a folded sheet of paper out of her dress pocket, and slid it across the table. Margaret unfolded it, and read the letter, grinning wickedly.

_Lowell, _

_I am sorry to tell you this but I have decided that you do not deserve someone as unworthy as me. I have given it much thought, and I have decided to grant you the one thing I know you have always wanted. A divorce. You would not know my attorney. He was recommended to me by a dear friend, and he has promised utmost discretion. You will most likely receive the papers in a fortnight. I have already signed them, and I have legally changed my name back to Margaret Kingsley. I shall tell everyone that it was your idea, so as to not cause undo scandal in Society, but I must ask that you never try to contact me ever again. I know we will both be much happier apart. Take care of yourself. _

_Margaret. _

_P.S. I have transferred all my money to a different bank. You will no longer be able to draw on my savings. I do hope this won't inconvenience you too terribly. _

Margaret giggled. "It's perfect, and Lowell will be too busy getting the runaround from the bank to worry about anything else. We have separate accounts, you see, and I'm the only one allowed into mine. The bank knows to refuse him access without my written permission."

Alice extended a pen to her. "All we need is your signature, and then we can send the letter."

Margaret signed, and Alannah took it, sealing it in an envelope. "What's the address to Lowell's office?"

"1321 Fleet Street, London."

Alannah addressed the envelope, then walked over to the fireplace and tossed the letter up the chimney. "1321 Fleet Street, London, Overland." Margaret watched in amazement as the letter flew upwards, and then looked over at Alice.

"Is that how you got your letters to me?" Alice nodded, and she laughed. "No wonder they kept coming out of the fireplace in my room."

She smiled, and began conversing with the Underlanders. She hoped that Lowell would be satisfied with the letter and leave her alone. She was having a perfectly wonderful time in this mad world.

_**Author's Note-What will Lowell do when he gets the letter? Will he come to Underland? Will he get Margaret back or just get his comeuppance? Stay tuned and you'll find out**_.


	6. Chapter 6 Lowell Lowered

A Mad Wonderful World

Chapter Six Lowell Lowered

A week had passed since Margaret's arrival in Underland, and she was having a most enjoyable time. She was thoroughly enjoying being courted by Corporal Blanchard, and had also nicely integrated herself at Court. Mirana had asked her in depth questions about her interests and skills. Margaret had blushed, and told her that she had some skill with cooking. Mirana had offered to let her learn to cook Underland food. "However, I will not expect you to become a cook. I already have plenty of those. I just think you would enjoy the experience. Just be sure to duck if you see Thackery with anything in his paw."

Margaret had been taken to the kitchens and introduced to Thackery, the March Hare. He had been quite polite to her, and more than willing to teach her the nuances of Underland cooking. She had to duck quite frequently, but didn't mind -she had a wonderful time in the relaxed atmosphere of the kitchen.

She had finally worked up the courage to tell Thomas the truth about her life in Overland. She asked him to meet her in the Main Hall. As she waited, she paced up and down nervously. He entered, and came straight to her, hugging her gently. "Meggie, what is the matter?"

She took a breath. "Thomas, I need to tell you something, and I want you to listen. After I am finished, you may leave if you wish. I lied to you. I am married in Overland. However, I despise my husband, and since I have arrived here you have done so much to make me forget him. I gave you my maiden name when we first met. I wanted to purge my husband from my mind entirely. But I cannot stand the fact that I lied to you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Blanchard smiled, and then gently lifted her chin to gaze into her eyes. "Fully, Meggie." He gently kissed her, and Margaret sighed in happiness and melted into him. Lowell's kisses had been chaste and cold, she remembered. Thomas's kisses were gentle, yet amazingly passionate. She wrapped her arms around him, deepening the kiss, and heard the sound of delighted laughter. She turned, glaring in mock anger at Alannah. "Might I help you?"

Alannah grinned, shaking her head. "You don't look as though you need any help. I'm so happy for you, Meggie. Thomas, you take care of her or you'll be facing the wrath of four very mad people."

Blanchard saluted. "Aye, My Lady. I shall, and if Meggie's husband tries to take her away from me I shall challenge him to a duel."

Alannah laughed. "That might not be necessary, but I'm sure Meggie appreciates the rather chivalrous gesture. But we do have something planned just in case Lowell does show his cowardly face around here." Margaret looked at her, interested, and Alannah smiled mysteriously. "However, it is a complete secret."

Margaret pouted. "I thought it was impossible to keep secrets here."

Alannah only smirked. "Sometimes."

Meanwhile, in London, a certain Lowell Manchester was beginning to get very angry. His wife had been gone for three days, and none of her friends had seen her or knew where she was. He had considered calling the police, but realized that the scandal would surely come back to haunt him, and he cared more about his standing than he did finding his wife. Then he had found the envelope on his office desk. Curious, he had opened it, and nearly fainted in shock and terror. His own savings were almost depleted, and he had planned on asking Margaret for a loan. But now…he angrily crumpled the letter and threw it into the fireplace, then went running to hail a cab. "To the First Bank!"

When the cab arrived, he practically shot out of it and ran in a mad panic into the bank, skidding to a halt in front of the manager's desk. "I demand access to my wife's account! It is an emergency."

The manager nodded. "Mr. Manchester, do calm down. I am sorry to inform you that your wife is no longer a patron of ours."

Lowell went pale. "What?' he whispered in a strangled voice.

The manager pulled out a ledger, and flipped through it. "We received a letter two days ago asking to transfer all her money to an overseas bank. We sent a wire the very next hour."

Lowell clenched his fists, and tried to speak calmly. "Which bank was it?"

The manager frowned. "We are not allowed to divulge that information. Bank policy. I am sorry, Mr. Manchester."

Lowell struggled to remain calm. "Thank you. I am sorry to have inconvenienced you. Good Day." He walked out of the bank, and climbed into the waiting cab, blood boiling in rage. He was determined to find Margaret and punish her for the humiliation she was causing him. He knew there was only one place she could have gone-that strange place Alice had been going on about. He gave the driver directions to the Ascot Estate, and sat back smiling evilly. He would find Margaret and bring her home-by force if necessary.

When he reached the Hole, he paused for a moment before jumping in. He shut his eyes as he plunged downward, and felt the wind whistling through his ears. He landed in the Hall of Doors, then stood and brushed himself off. He thought back to the stories Alice had told, and walked over to the glass table, pocketing the key. He uncorked the small bottle, and took a sip, shuddering at the awful taste. Once he finished shrinking, he walked under the table and grabbed a bit of the cake that lay on the ground before going to the curtain that hid the Door. He unlocked it, and entered Underland, then ate the cake and grew to his right size.

'What an awful place.' He thought, gazing around. 'Why, it's quite headache inducing.'

Any Underlander standing nearby would have looked at him as though he was crazy. The land was a riot of colors, and flowers grew in great profusion everywhere. It was, in point of fact, quite beautiful. But Lowell had a disgusted look on his face as he started off down the path, determined to find his wayward wife.

It was Chessur who spotted him first as he blundered through the Tulgey Wood, cursing as tree branches snagged on his clothes. Chessur grinned, recognizing him, and decided to have a bit of fun.

Lowell was untangling himself from yet another tree branch when he heard a low purring sound that seemed to come from all around him. He looked around frantically, but the only thing he saw was more trees. The purring grew louder, and Lowell shivered. "Who's there?"

Chessur chuckled. "There's no one here but me."

Lowell trembled at the voice that had come from thin air. "Who are you?"

Chessur formed his grin, and Lowell gave a small shriek at the sharp teeth. Then Chessur began to sing, his voice echoing and re echoing throughout the Tulgey Wood. Lowell ran, pursued by the mocking voice of the Cheshire Cat.

"_My head begins to jingle  
Most ev'ry time I nod  
obviously, quite obviously I'm odd_

Each Christmas I go fishing  
to catch a Christmas cod  
cause obviously, quite obviously, I'm odd

When I was just a kitten,  
they'd said I'd be a gem  
But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat  
It's odd how odd I am

I own a feather pillow  
but I slumber on the sod  
cause obviously, quite obviously I'm odd

When I was just a kitten,  
They'd said I'd be a gem  
But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat  
It's odd how odd I am

Most cat's have handsome whiskers  
But me, I've got a beard  
Cause obviously, quite obviously I'm weird!" 

Lowell had finally made it out of the Wood. He stood on the path, panting in exertion and terror, and heard crazed laughter coming from behind him. He screamed and ran.

Chessur solidified on a branch, and grinned madly as he watched the Overlander run down the path and straight for Marmoreal. He vanished, and appeared in the throne room. "Majesty, I thought perhaps you would like to know that Lowell Manchester is arriving soon."

Mirana grinned wickedly. "Excellent. I shall inform Alannah and Margaret."

Lowell stamped his foot in anger at the Castle Guards. "I demand to see whoever is in charge! I have come to bring my wife back from this horrible place! So you had better let me in right this moment!"

"Manchester, calm down." Alannah came out of the palace, and glared in exasperation at him. "You just can't come and take Meggie away. She's quite happy here, and she wishes to have nothing at all to do with you. It is my advice that you accept that fact. There's a transport potion waiting to send you back to Overland."

Lowell sputtered in rage. "How dare you! I will not leave this place without Margaret! Who do you think you are, keeping my wife from me? I demand to see her immediately!" He shoved past Alannah, and began calling. "Margaret! Get out here right this moment! I order you!"

"I am not going anywhere with you, Lowell!" Margaret came walking out of a nearby room, and glared at him. "As far as I am concerned, I am no longer your wife. You have betrayed my trust one too many times. Please, let me be and go back home. I would be miserable back in London. I am happy here. Please, let me alone to live my life."

Lowell glared at her. "Margaret, I don't know what sort of spell these mad creatures have put you under, but I am not going to stand by and allow you to throw away your life! Have you no thought for me? Think of what I will have to go through, the scandals that I will be facing."

Margaret laughed bitterly. "I have no thought for you? Oh, that is amusing. I have no thought for you! Have you any for me? Did you ever think of me when you bedded all those women? Did you ever think of me when you spent your last shilling at the races? Did you ever think of me when you conducted your affairs in your office, and caused me to catch you in the act? Did you ever once consider my feelings, or were you more interested in the whores and horses?" She glared at her dumfounded husband. "I see. Well, you should be allowed to go back to them. Goodbye, Lowell."

Lowell strode forward and grabbed her arm roughly. "You are coming with me whether you like it or not! Do you understand me?"

"Take yer 'ands off 'er."

Lowell turned, and glared at a very angry Tarrant Hightopp. His eyes were orange, and he stared at Lowell with a glare that could have split a stone. Alannah was standing nearby, a mad grin of eager anticipation on her face. If there was one thing Tarrant could not stand, it was seeing a woman hurt. And if the woman was someone he cared about, then all hell would break loose. He advanced on Lowell, and spoke in a deadly soft voice. "I said tae take yer 'ands off her, Manchester."

Lowell looked down his nose at Tarrant. "Just who do you think you are? I shall handle my wife however I please. You have no say in the matter." He blanched as Tarrant grinned evilly.

"I ken that ye aren't going to be persuaded by mere words. Verra well." He grabbed Lowell and yanked him away from Margaret, and then frog marched him towards where Alannah stood. "Something about this seems verra familiar."

Alannah laughed. "It does."

Tarrant turned to Lowell. "Don't try squirming out of me grasp. I want to tell ye something, and I want to make sure you hear all of it. Ye are a worthless piece of slurking urpal slackush scrum. Ye had a wonderful wife in Meggie and instead ye chose to be a cad and break her heart over and over again. Ye had the chance tae redeem yerself three years ago when ye were given the Veritas Tea, and instead ye chose to continue behaving like the bastard ye are. You are not worthy of being any woman's husband. In fact, ye aren't even worth being considered a man anymore. What ye are is a rat, and that is all ye ever will be. So rat, go home and crawl in the sewers!"

He spun Lowell around so he was facing Alannah, and forced his mouth open. Alannah stepped forward, a small blue vial in her hand, and poured the contents down his throat. She stepped back and stared grimly at Tarrant. "Let him go. It should take affect pretty quickly. I made it very potent."

Tarrant released him, and Lowell fell to the floor, convulsing. Margaret came forward and watched in shock as he began to change.

He shrank, and his arms and legs contracted. His hands grew tiny, became paws, and his black hair began to cover his entire body, turning into fur. His nose grew long, and his eyes became beady. Finally, a long tail appeared, and where there had once been a handsome man was a large black rat.

Tarrant picked the rat up, and looked over at Alannah. "Good job. Now, Mr. Rat, let's see about getting you home." He carried the rat outside, and Margaret took a breath, and then burst into delighted laughter.

"He was always a rat! Oh, Alannah! I can stay!" She whooped and hugged Alannah in joy. She could stay!

And in the kitchen, a gleeful Tarrant Hightopp forced transport potion down the throat of the rat that had once been Lowell Manchester.

_**Author's Note-"I'm Odd" was originally supposed to be in the 1951 movie, but it was taken out. There's a video on You tube of the Cat singing it, and it's perfect for him. Also, there's one more chapter to go. **_


	7. Chapter 7 A Life Most Mad

A Mad Wonderful World

Chapter Seven A Life Most Mad

When Corporal Blanchard and Stayne found out the fate that Lowell Manchester had suffered, they both laughed with wicked glee. Alannah had gone to the Barracks to inform Blanchard what had happened, and he had been slightly disappointed that he hadn't been there to witness the transformation.

Stayne looked over at Alannah, who had a very triumphant grin on her face. "I must say, love, I have never heard of a more appropriate punishment for anyone. But where did you learn how to brew a changing potion?"

Alannah chuckled. "I found the Duchess's old potion books in the Library. She had written down the formula she used to turn her son into a pig. I just tweaked it a bit so Manchester would turn into a rat. The Duchess had written down how to adjust the potion for all different transformations. There was even one for ducks." She said mischievously, and Stayne chuckled.

"Lady Ellen seems to have forgotten her infatuation with me. But I feel sorry for Lord Hartigan. From what I hear, Lady Ellen is quite materialistic. She's depleting Hartigan's pocketbook quite quickly."

Blanchard grinned, and then looked over at Alannah. "Does this mean that I am free to continue courting Meggie without having to worry about her husband coming after her?"

Alannah smiled. "That is exactly what it means, Thomas. You may court to your heart's consent, and we both wish you much luck." Blanchard grinned elatedly and ran out of the Barracks, ready to go and meet his Lady love. Stayne walked over to Alannah and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently. She responded by clutching him tightly and kissing him until his head was spinning. He pulled back, a goofy grin on his face. "Wow. Now I remember why I fell in love with you. You are a damn good kisser."

Alannah laughed. "I hope that's not the only reason why." She sighed, and placed her head against his chest, listening to his heart. "Ilosivic? Do you ever wish you could have had the chance to court me properly?"

Stayne laughed. "No. To tell you the truth, I would have been quite horrible at it. Alannah, I wanted you…physically the moment I saw you at the Masquerade, and I….well, I hadn't had much experience in courtship rituals. The majority of the time, the 'ritual' consisted of either haggling over a price with the newest courtesan, or steeling myself to enter Iracebeth's bed. But even then, I never really felt much of anything. My body reacted, that was it. It was all rote, and I'd leave their company feeling cold. Iracebeth inspired a different feeling in me, though. I'd leave her chambers, and head straight for the baths to scrub the slime off my skin. I'd sometimes scrub so hard I would bleed, and the next night I would be forced to repeat the whole sordid, disgusting mess all over again." He led Alannah over to a nearby bench, and pulled her down, kissing her.

"But with you, it was different. I dreamt about you that night, you know."

_**Stayne lay in his bed, mind racing with thoughts of Lady Sullivan. He laughed quietly to himself. 'Why can't I stop thinking about her?' He knew the answer-because he had never seen or known anyone like her. He was well acquainted with all the Ladies of the Red Court-some more intimately than others, and all of them were scheming social climbers. Stayne knew about their poor attempts at disguise, the fake noses, ears, breasts, and other items they paraded in order to seem as freakish as the Queen. He had been shocked when he found out Iracebeth had no idea about the deception, and merely shaken his head at her obtuseness. **_

_**When he saw Lady Sullivan, his first instinct was to try and spot which part of her body she had enhanced, and he was quite shocked to find that everything appeared natural. He felt his heart speed up, and his mouth became dry. As she approached the throne, he gave an involuntary gasp. She was real, and Oh Time…incredibly beautiful. The blue mask she wore couldn't hide the piercing green of her eyes, and her costume-a simple dress of deep blue-enhanced her rather lovely curves.**_

_**Stayne sighed, and shut his eye, attempting to get to sleep, and Lady Sullivan appeared before him, smiling gently. He reached out, and gently stroked her face, marveling at how soft her skin felt. He grasped her face, and pulled her down into a kiss. At first, it was tentative, slightly hesitant, but he quickly grew bold and deepened the kiss. She responded, and Stayne felt himself trembling in desire. He kissed her slowly, savoring her taste (strawberries and spice), and began to untie her mask. He wanted to see her face more than anything. He had to see if she was as beautiful as he hoped. **_

_**He had the mask untied, and was about to pull it off when…**_

"_**STAYNE!" **_

_**His eye snapped open, and he began to curse Iracebeth violently.**_

Alannah chuckled. "You didn't get very far in your dream, love."

Stayne smirked wickedly at her. "Not in that dream. But I had lots of others." He grinned at the blush on his wife's face. "But none of the dreams compared to the reality. The reality is infinitely more appealing."

Alannah smiled, and then kissed him. "I agree."

Blanchard walked through Marmoreal, searching for Alice. He had been ecstatic when he found that he could court Margaret without fear of repercussion, and he wanted to learn all about the Courtship Rituals of Overland so he could properly woo his lovely Meggie.

He found Alice in the Hat Shop, helping Tarrant model his newest creations. She smiled when she saw him. "Thomas, so good to see you. If you're looking for Meggie, she's in the Library going through the history books. She wants to learn about Underland, and my visits here, and my slaying of the Jabberwock, and Alannah and Ilosivic slaying the Boojum, and I think she wants to have a glance at the Oraculum, and…"

"Alice!"

Blanchard laughed. "I was actually looking for you. I want to ask you some questions about Courtship Rituals in Overland. Is there a certain way of doing things?"

Alice laughed. "There is, and it is all incredibly boring and pointless. In Overland, you and Meggie would not be allowed to spend any time alone. You would have chaperones, and most likely would be attending very boring parties and listening to sleep inducing conversations." She sighed, and looked at Blanchard with a sad expression on her face. "Of course, there would also be the very good chance that you would not even be allowed to speak to Meggie, much less court her. You see, Meggie and I come from 'Society'. You would not be considered worthy of our affections, since you are only a 'common soldier'. So my advice to you is to court Meggie in the style of Underland. Take her out on picnics; riding-she's a very good horsewoman-anything you can think of. She'll appreciate that much more than any silly Overland ritual."

Blanchard beamed, and kissed Alice on the cheek before running to find Margaret. Alice turned to Tarrant, who had a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?"

Tarrant pulled her into his arms, kissing her gently. "I'm just very glad that we didn't go through all the nonsense of courting, either. We both would have been quite bored with the whole routine. However, I am very happy that you allowed me to make an honest woman out of you," he finished wickedly.

Alice smirked at him. "Well, if I recall, you seemed quite insistent, and when I said yes you Futterwackened quite vigorously." She smiled softly. "Our wedding was so wonderful. I don't think I've ever seen you happier."

Tarrant kissed her. "Are you forgetting when Arianna and Josiah were born? I nearly knocked Alannah down in my haste to get to you."

Alice smiled. "My Mad Hatter."

"My Alice."

Margaret blushed deeply as Blanchard led her down the path towards the White Sea. He had told her he had something very special planned for her. When she asked, he had merely smiled and kissed her, saying that was a surprise. She had now been living in Underland for a month, and had fallen quite deeply in love with Blanchard. She found herself quite enjoying the extremely lax rules of Underland courtship-propriety was quite unknown here. The first time she had been intimate with Thomas had been a week after Lowell's arrival. She had been very nervous-Lowell had not been the most exemplary lover. He saw it as her duty. She was expected to satisfy his needs, and that was all. He had cared little for her needs. But Thomas had been wonderful-very gentle, yet passionate. Later, as she lay in his arms and listened to his heart, she reflected on how lucky she had been. She wondered if perhaps she had been meant to catch Lowell cheating on her.

Blanchard led her to the end of the path, and she gasped in delight. Spread out on the beach was a beautiful blue blanket with a deep green picnic basket on top. "Oh, Thomas, this is wonderful."

He smiled. "This is only the first half of the surprise, Meggie." He led her over to the blanket, and they sat down. Margaret watched the sea, and sighed. "I always loved going to the Sea. It's such a calming presence for me. This Sea, though-it makes me almost happy."

Blanchard smiled. "The White Sea has always had that effect." He opened the basket, and unpacked plates and cups before pulling out the food-sandwiches, scones, and a tray of strawberries. Then, with a grin on his face, he pulled out a bottle of wine. "This occasion calls for wine."

Margaret laughed as he uncorked the bottle and poured her a glass. "What is the occasion, Thomas?"

"All in good Time, Meggie. Why don't we have something to eat first, and then all your questions will be answered." He laughed at her mock pout, then leaned over and kissed her. "I promise, you will be most happy with the surprise."

Margaret frowned, but decided not to push the issue. She selected a sandwich, and gazed at the White Sea as she ate. She was soon so caught up in the rhythm of the waves that she wasn't aware that Thomas had taken her hand until she felt something sliding onto her finger. She looked, and gasped in delight. On her finger was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. It was gold, with a deep blue gem set in the top. She felt tears prick her eyes. "Thomas, this is beautiful."

He smiled. "It goes with your lovely blue eyes. Meggie, I have something to ask you." He grasped her hands in his, and looked into her eyes. "Margaret Kingsley, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Margaret threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. He pulled away, and looked at her, eyes sparkling in amusement. "I would imagine that means yes?"

Margaret laughed. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I love you, Thomas!"

"Oh, Meggie, I'm so happy for you!" Margaret had just finished telling Alice the wonderful news and she beamed as she showed off her ring. "That ring is so beautiful! You will be most happy with Thomas, I know."

Margaret sighed dreamily. "We want to get married as soon as possible. Oh Alice, I never thought I could fall down a hole and end up in Heaven."

Alice laughed. "Quite the mad paradise, but I know what you mean. I couldn't stay away. This place has a way of winning you over. And of course, I was pining away for a mad Hatter."

"This Mad Hatter was pining away for you too, my love." Tarrant walked up to the sisters, and smiled at Margaret. "My congratulations, Meggie. I hope that this marriage is infinitely better than your first one."

Margaret smiled. "Thank you."

Tarrant kissed her on the cheek. "You deserve this, Meggie."

"She said yes! She said yes! She said yes!" Blanchard came pelting into the Barracks, shrieking in joy, and skidded to a halt in front of Alannah. "She said yes!"

Alannah laughed. "Settle down, Thomas. Who said…" her eyes widened at the grin on his face. "Thomas did you…?"

He nodded, grin wider, and she whooped in joy and pulled him into a hug. "Congratulations! Oh, I am so happy for both of you! When's the wedding?"

He smiled. "We want to get married in the spring. I'm so excited, Alannah. I've never felt this way about anyone. She makes me feel…wonderful. Oh, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I only hope that we'll be as happy as you and the Captain."

Alannah smiled. "I'm sure you will be."

"So another Underlander has succumbed to the charms of a Kingsley, I hear." Stayne entered the room, and grinned at Thomas. "Congratulations, Corporal. However, it occurs to me that a mere Corporal's salary may not be enough to raise a family on. So, I have something for you." He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Here. Consider it an early wedding present."

Blanchard took it, a slight frown on his face. "Captain, if you are giving me money, then I thank you for the gesture, but it is not necessary."

Stayne laughed. "It's not money."

Blanchard opened the envelope, and gaped in happy shock at the contents. "Captain…I…"

Stayne clapped him on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Lieutenant Blanchard."

Blanchard grinned happily. "Thank you so much, Captain!"

Time had flown by, and soon spring arrived. The day of the wedding of Margaret Kingsley to Lieutenant Thomas Blanchard dawned bright and beautiful. It was held in the large main garden.

Margaret, dressed in a deep blue gown, stood at the end of the aisle, nervously adjusting the bouquet of flowers she held in her hands. Alice and Alannah, who were both serving as her Matrons of Honor, laughed. Alice reached out and steadied her hands. "Meggie, calm down. You'll end up tearing the bouquet you keep twisting it like that. And before you ask, you look absolutely beautiful."

Alannah nodded in agreement. "She's right, you know. Now, take a deep breath. Here comes Thomas."

Margaret turned and watched as Thomas walked up the aisle, and her heartbeat quickened when she saw how handsome he looked in his uniform. He stopped in front of her.

"Ready?"

She nodded, and they turned to face Mirana. She smiled at them. "We are gathered here today to join this man and woman in the bonds of matrimony, bonds that will never be broken. If there as anyone here who can give good cause as to why these two cannot be wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

No response and Mirana continued. "Thomas Blanchard, will you take Margaret Kingsley to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and honor, until death do you part?"

Thomas nodded. "I will."

"Margaret Kingsley, will you take Thomas Blanchard to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love, honor, and obey, until death do you part?"

Margaret couldn't stop the tears of happiness from her eyes as she answered. "I will."

Mirana smiled. "Then by the power vested in me as Queen of Underland, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Thomas beamed, and pulled Margaret into a passionate kiss. As she kissed him back, she reflected on the wonderfully mad world she had fallen into, and the wonderfully mad life she was looking forward to living.

THE END.


End file.
